Demon Tango of the Creative Heart
Defeating The Inner Saboteur and the Demon of Regret
As far as I am concerned, there are too many devils and demons operating within this
dimension that we call earth, but the most personal and private of them all must be my
glamorous Demon, The Inner Saboteur.
The inner-saboteur will go to any and all lengths to keep you from doing the very thing that
you actually want to do, deep within.
It will lie. It will seduce. It will convince. It will beg. It will shame you, and it will bully you.
It will invent stories and situations that have not happened, or, if they had happened to just
the smallest extent, the Inner Saboteur will utilize and milk this to the last drop like an addict
fighting for its only drug.
It will argue with you as if you are about to lose the love of your life.
It will debate you as if you are on trial and the Inner Saboteur is the most expensive lawyer
with a 100% winning rate.
It will use up any emotion it can find within you like a parasite attaching itself to an organism
for eternity.
Like ”some” Devils, it will bargain with you until you give in and accept.
If you should believe Inner-Saboteur,
if its lies are sweet tasting like honey,
seducing you into believing that, indeed,
this is not the right time,
you, indeed, are not motivated,
it will have to start tomorrow/Monday/next week/when the planets align/ when the universe
implodes/when your dog has pink socks again/after you've arranged your Pinterest
board/when you finish social media scrolling...
But most importantly, it will hook you in, convincing you that you will TRULY start and fully
commit after you’ve finished making a plan for your procrastination.
Or perhaps after you’ve finished THINKING about how to handle the plan of defeating your
procrastination, resulting in giving birth to a new demon on its own, one that is less active
and creative than it’s originator, The Inner Saboteur, but one that weighs way more heavily.
Sluggish. Tar-like. And one that eats you from inside until you’ve turned into an empty
vessel and an echo of the potential you once could have been.
Meet your new friend: Regret
And as the Demon of Regret and The Inner Saboteur entertain each other like it’s a daily
celebration of life, their Demon Tango is being fed by one thing, and one thing only:
You.
Their food is your dreams, your passions, your thoughts and your visions.
If they are extra lucky, they will be accompanied and nourished by external voices that have
expressed painful words during life and twirl them around in their Demon Dance like it’s the
Demons’ Swan Lake.
Their patterns and voices becoming a thing of recognition and comfort, something that feels
too heavy to fight against.
A battle already lost before it ever had begun.
And even attempting to negotiate with them as if they have your best interest at heart or are able to
be reasonable,
Because fortunately, neither are true.
There is a solution, and a rather beautiful one.
If it were up to them, you’ll never learn about this solution for it completely eradicates their
existence and ignores their participation or acknowledgement.
This solution is where you will call on your Inner Self and all your connections.
The Voice of Reason, the Whisper of Growth and The Ghost of Trust, an army that will
always exist with its sole reason to see you thrive.
Their soft and quiet existence almost disappears under the loud screams of Inner Saboteur
and Regret.
All it takes is finding them within the darkness that is always lurking on your shoulder.
All it takes is to focus on their existence, radiating love, trust, and words of support.
As time passes and we accept the chaos of it all but keep calling on The Voice of Reason,
Whisper of Growth and the Ghost of Trust, we will notice that their size and power have
grown.
Their soft noises now turn into louder growls, and they are not backing down anymore.
The Demons are still lurking on the side, awaiting their turn, not knowing that your Army of
Momentum will keep growing until it has drowned the last hopeless harshness of the
Demons.
With that being said:
Cover your ears.
Open your eyes.
Find your Army.